Remembering That You Matter with Be Love Radio

Today's blog brings you the final "chapter" in the Be Love series. I hope you give yourself a chance to listen to the last hour-long show. It was a great conversation and we had a wonderful time. It was such an incredible journey this year with Kidest Om, the brilliant and powerful host of the show. I really look forward to sharing more time with her in the future. As we rolled out the chapters of Getting That You Matter together, Kidest added so much wisdom and depth to the conversations. I learned more about myself, and the book, in the process, and I feel like we took it to a deeper level together. For that I will always be grateful to her. She is truly an Angel on Earth.

Now it's already nearly mid-September and I'm feeling the "push" to get the book published. It's a daunting, scary and exciting process… and it's time to "just do it!"

I'm excited to launch our newsletter (if you are on our list, you'll get one for sure!) and to unveil the "new, improved" website soon. We'll introduce free downloads of some of my favorite GTYM materials, exciting new features for more interactivity, as well as pre-sale packages which will help get the book and other products off the ground in a big way.

In other words, things are happening! WOOHOO!

As we talked about in the previous show, it's not always easy to stay connected to why you matter. It's not always easy to get up when you've fallen down. (Boy, do I know that one!) That's why it's so important to make your purpose the foundation upon which everything is built. When you do, everything falls into alignment with it instead of trying to fit it into your available spaces of time and attention.

When you're committed to living a life of purpose, you're able to keep your "eyes on the prize" as you go through your daily life. Without it, you tend to do what's there in front of you – whether it's going to move you forward or not.

Creating structures that help you to stay connected to your purpose also help. It helps to remember that, in keeping your eyes on the prize, it's your job to do the daily footwork and it's the Universe's job to take care of how it will unfold. Remember, too, to build in down time as part of your life. The beauty of this is that, contrary to the popular idea of staying in constant motion to be doing more, making more and getting more, you can actually be more productive when you're feeling cared for and rested.

This also means staying flexible – allowing for the changes and unforeseen events that inevitably happen in your life. When you allow for these things in the context of being wholeheartedly committed to your purpose, you're not shaken as deeply as when you're just trying to get through the day.

Remember, things that are inflexible are also often far more breakable. A friend of mine says, "I like to Tai Chi the things that are coming at me." What he means by that is, instead of putting up a wall of resistance to challenges, he allows things to flow past him with grace and ease. This allows him to use the energy of what's coming toward him instead of fighting against it.

In addition, it's important to do whatever you need to do to remember and keep your agreements (the ones we talked about in chapter five). With these in place, you give yourself everything you need to move forward with your creative endeavors – because, actually, everything you do is a creative act.

One of the beautiful things about being human is that you are infinitely creative. Whether you are aware of it or not, everything you do is an act of creativity. Think about it, even negative self-talk or bad behavior is creative. The thing is, it's up to you what direction you want your creative energy to take. Whether what you're doing serves you or not, you're creating it!

Staying connected to your passion and purpose requires diligence and conscious effort; it's not a quick fix or plastic surgery. It's also not about always living from a place of "positive thinking" either. Staying connected requires that you dive into your emotions, connect to your heart and your passion about why you are here on the planet and who you are here to be.

Joanna Macy, one of the foremost authorities on deep ecology and a woman I admire greatly and with whom I had the great fortune to study many years ago, teaches that we must feel our despair about what's happening in the world in order to reconnect with our passion and with each other in order to reconnect to our greatest passion, joy and compassion for ourselves, each other and the world.

Debbie Ford asserts that you must dive into the shadows of yourself and bring to light the things about yourself of which you are most ashamed in order to live whole, complete life. In other words, as Debbie says, "The gold is in the dark." And it's not just our despair and pain that we need to expose and express, it's also our joy and self-celebration. We must give ourselves the gift of being fully human.

These are not new concepts, but they are critical to getting that you matter. The important thing is to treat every experience, every interaction, every opportunity as if it is brand new, as if you are encountering it for the very first time. In other words, getting that you matter requires you to live from a place of "Beginner's Mind."

How you choose to see and experience yourself and everything around you is the key to getting that you matter. You can choose to believe the old story that you don't matter, that you don't have an impact and continue down this path of unconsciousness. Or you can choose to live in Beginner's Mind every day, believing that you do matter, that you have an undeniable impact on the world around you.

The reason I wrote this book in the first place was because I see so many people going through their lives in a fog or on automatic pilot, not connected to their purpose and behaving as if they have no idea of their impact on the world. You matter, whether you are aware of it or not, and it is imperative that you understand that. The world needs you to wake up, to see what you've been doing that was unconscious and to make any necessary changes to shift from that state of unconsciousness in order to do your part to contribute to the greater good.

In the end, how can you not fulfill your purpose and do what you are ultimately here to do? In other words, how can you not matter? We are innately connected and thus have the most profound impact on each other and everything around us. The Native elders of this continent had it right when they said, “Whatever touches one part of the web, touches all of it.” We cannot separate ourselves; we are not, and never will be, islands. You matter and the world needs you now.


Meditation for Remembering That You Matter

“Looking back on my experiences of doing this work, what has changed about how I get that I matter?"

Take some time to journal about what has shifted for you in doing the homework. How do you see yourself differently? How you are choosing to show up now? What will you do to really stretch into this new space of getting that you matter?

Mantra for Remembering That You Matter

"I Matter… Always!"

What phrase, like this one, could you say to yourself that would remind you that you matter, especially in the times when you have fallen down. Remember, you'll feel it in your heart and it will make you blush a bit. Then remember to post it in as many places as possible so you won't forget!

Movement for Remembering That You Matter

"What’s Next?"

Now that you really get how much you matter, I encourage you to go out and do at least one thing that is out of your comfort zone (or out-of-the-box for you) that will stretch you into acting in alignment with your Vision and Purpose. And remember to celebrate yourself, too!

Falling Down and Getting Up with Be Love Radio

I'm sorry to says sobut, sadly, it's true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you.

You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You'll be left in a Lurch.

You'll come down from the Lunch wuth an unpleasant bump. And the chances are, then, that you'll be in a Slump.

And when you're in a Slump, you're not in for much fun. Un-slumping yourself is not easily done.

-excerpt from Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Suess

I love how life works, even when it seems to not be working – or, rather, I don't seem to be working with it.

I had every intention of posting this blog about Falling Down and Getting Up right after the Be Love radio show on July 3rd, and here I went and fell down and didn't get it posted until two months later. I'm sitting here smiling and laughing at myself as I think about that old saying, "We teach what we most need to learn."

Just like that baby learning to walk, I, too, am learning to walk in a whole new way. It doesn't surprise me when I fall down anymore because I've done it so often, but it does bring more and more compassion and gentleness for myself in the process. I used to beat myself up terribly for all the falling down I did, but now – more often than not – I laugh and look for the underlying cause or issue in order to learn from the experience. I meditate a lot more than I used to, too – it really seems to help.

Having said that, I invite you to take this away from the July 3rd Be Love show (and I do recommend that you give it a listen- they're always really informative). Take away that you will fall down, that your mind will find countless ways to sabotage your progress (I know that one really well!), and that you are absolutely capable of overcoming every obstacle you may place in your own way.

In other words, you will fall down and you will get up again.

The best way to get up again is to reconnect with your essence, with your heart and your community to get all the support you need to get back on the old, proverbial horse. Remember to be gentle with yourself in the process. Can you imagine yelling at or beating up that little baby for falling on its diaper? Of course not! So why do it to yourself?

What would it look like for you to reconnect? Would you need to take some "time out" in order to revitalize your purpose? Would you need to reach out for support from your community, an accountability buddy or a coach to express your feelings in a safe container? Most importantly, what do you need right now (in this moment)?

Regardless of what you choose to do to get back up again, I invite you to have as much fun as you can in the midst of all you are doing. Remember, getting that you matter is meant to be an enjoyable, fulfilling and fun experience. When you fall down, it's great to be able to laugh and learn from it.

Life was never meant to be a chore. You are not a slave to your life, but rather you're here to enjoy the adventure of experiencing it in its fullest. It is your birthright to enjoy and marvel at this wonderful thing called being human.

So, I encourage you to listen to the archived show for this chapter on Be Love Radio; it's got a lot of great stuff in it and should be very helpful in your own Getting That You Matter journey. In the meantime, you can begin the process with this week's Meditation, Mantra and Movement.

Meditation for Getting Up "In what ways do I fall down? What support system can I put in place to help me get back up?" Journal, using the first question, about how you get yourself off track; then about ways to get yourself back on track using the second question.

Mantra for Getting Up "I reconnect to my passion and purpose by…" Make a list of the reminders you can use to reconnect to your passion and purpose. Post your reminders wherever you need to so you can see them every day, and use them. For fun you can track how often you use them and what helps you to remember them, then keep the ones that work and let go of the ones that don't.

Movement for Getting Up Create the support system you need to help you stay on track. Who do you need to enroll? What group could you join? Do you need some professional assistance? What practice would most help you? How can you build in down time and fun so you don't become a slave to your passion? Set a deadline and put it in place! And if you're finding it hard to do, ask one person to be your accountability buddy and help you create your support system.

Moving from Inspiration to Action with Be Love Radio

"If we did all the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves."--Thomas Edison

Now that you've discovered and written out your vision and created your visual reminder in the form of a vision board or vision book, it's time to make a plan.

If you want to realize your vision, the best way to get there is to have a concrete set of steps to get there – and a plan is the easiest way to make sure you do it. Creating a plan to realize your vision is a little bit like eating an elephant (my apologies to any vegetarians!); you can't eat it all at once, you have to do it one bite at a time. So give yourself time and space to complete it.

Like we talked about in Sunday's show, the best way to create a plan is to start with when you would like to achieve your vision and work backward from their, filling in the path with all the steps it will take to get there. Start with the big pieces and fill in the smaller steps as you go. This really helps in clarifying exactly what you'll need to do to get where you want to go. Of course, you can edit and change your plan as you learn more about how to get there, too.

If your vision is larger in scope – like starting a business, then your plan will likely have several goals toward which you are aiming in order to match the size of your vision. If your vision is more singular in focus, like publishing a book, you may have one over-arching goal for your plan with several sub goals (or "markers"). Either way, you will likely have three to five markers (or more), which, in turn, have a series of smaller action steps you can achieve easily.

Remember to make sure that all of your goals and markers are "S.MA.R.T." goals. That means specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and timely. We talked about this in detail on the show, so be sure to listen to the archived show to learn more. Then remember to create your action steps in small enough, do-able chunks that you can easily check them off but not so easy that you let yourself off the hook.

Now that you have your plan, it's time to put it into action! First, hang it up where you'll see it every day. Then calendar your action steps, at least the ones for your first marker, and make sure you take them. Again, make it do-able; likely one to three actions per week is good for starters so you're not overwhelmed by all there is to do. And, remember, some of your actions may be one-time events and some of them may be daily practices like writing for a certain amount of time each day.

Then make sure to get support. This is really important in helping you to stay accountable to what you want to create. Maybe you want to share your plan with your family members or ask someone to be your Accountability Buddy. You could also hire a coach like me, someone you can count on to "hold your feet to the fire" of your greatest self. Regardless of the kind of support you seek, the most important thing is that you don't isolate yourself.

Last, be sure to have fun while you're working on your plan. Life is meant to be enjoyable – especially the things about which we're passionate! Having fun will help you achieve your goals even faster, and you'll have the gift of experiencing achievement in a whole new way. This isn't to say it won't be challenging from time to time, but if it gets "un-fun" for any length of time it's time to reassess. Then, for every marker you achieve, even every major action step, and certainly the big goals, celebrate yourself! Acknowledging what you've accomplished will give you more fuel to keep going through the times when you feel like it's too hard.

So, go get your journal (or your computer, like I do), your vision board and have a blast making your plan! You are well on your way to being the contribution you want to see in the world and creating even more evidence for how much you matter.

Meditation for Making Your Plan:

What is your Plan? Use your vision to create your Plan… and remember to let it come through your heart rather than your head. Give yourself plenty of time – at least an hour or two, even better set aside some time for several days – to work on your Plan. Once you've got your basic version, print it out so you can look at it every day, fleshing it out, editing and keeping it near your Vision where you will see it.

MANTRA for Making Your Plan:

"I am taking action!" As you begin to put your action steps into motion, talk about what you are doing in the current and positive. Share your actions with your friends and family so you have their support, especially during the times when you feel like giving up or backing away from what you've committed to do.

MOVEMENT for Making Your Plan:

Create your plan and begin to put it into place. Just as you did with your Vision, feel free to keep reading the rest of the book while you are working on your Plan. The more time and care you take with it, the more connected you will feel to it. Remember to put your action items in your calendar and to celebrate every marker and goal achieved as well as the actions you take to help you complete your Plan and achieve your Vision!

Birthing Your Vision with Be Love Radio

This week on Be Love Radio we moved into the section of the book where we begin to put all of our concepts and ideas together into some really cool concrete activitites. Chapter Eight is all about Birthing Your Vision, where you will learn about creating some tools that will begin to express your inner world in the outer world. The key to bringing your Vision to life is in reclaiming your dream like we talked about in our last show and getting "clear-eyed" about it as Marcus Buckingham so wisely teaches. I shared with Kidest and her listeners about creating a Self-Defining Declaration - a wonderful self-inquiry and development tool I learned from Steve Bearman when I took his Interchange Counseling Institute course a few years ago.  We also talked about the Visioning process itself, where you have an opportunity to go inside and connect deeply with your most inspiring vision for your whole life or an area of your life in which you wish to raise the bar or create a powerful project. Then we talked about Vision Statements, Vision Boards and Vision Books. These powerful tools are visual representations of your vision so you will be able to be reminded of it, not only in words but in pictures that inspire, empower and motivate you to bring your dreams to life!

Lastly, remember to have fun with your creation process and celebrate yourself once you have completed your Vision Board or Vision Book. You can take yourself out for dinner, watch your favorite movie, go for a walk in nature or anything that makes you feel really great. Whatever you choose, remember you did this because you matter and you get to celebrate yourself for the very same reason!

You can get full descriptions of the Self-Defining Declaration as well as the Vision Board and Vision Book processes in the excerpt from Chapter 8 of Getting That You Matter, available here. Just click on the link and you'll receive your first free download. Stay tuned for the Visioning Meditation mp3 that will be available soon; I'll make sure to post on facebook, twitter and here on Get That You Matter when we have that audio available.

I wish everyone the most wonderfully fun, inspiring and powerful time with your "playwork" for Birthing Your Vision. Thank you for doing all you are doing to Be the Change you wish to see in the world!

Meditation for Your Vision:

"What is my Vision?" Take at least an hour or two to write, in your journal or on your computer, your self-defining declaration. Now use your self-defining declaration to flesh out your Vision for your life (or one area of it). When you feel like you have it the way you want it (remember it's going to give you tingles!), copy or print out your Vision and hang it up or put it somewhere you will see it every day.

Mantra for Your Vision:

"I am creating…" Begin to see your Vision for your life and share it with anyone who will listen. Regardless of how you do it, the important thing is to say it as if you are already doing it, even if you haven't yet taken any action. Speak about it as if it's happening now and you'll be amazed at the positive response you get. The more you speak it, the more you will believe it and begin to take real, concrete actions that move you toward creating and living it.

Movement for Your Vision:

Bring your vision to life and inspire yourself! Create your vision board and/or vision book. Remember to take your time with this part of the process. As a matter of fact, feel free to keep reading the rest of the book while you are working on your vision; the more time and care you take with it, the more connected you will feel to it.

Materials for Your Vision Board or Book:

Poster board/cardboard/chipboard or Journal or Binder with plastic inserts

Glue sticks



Folders for pieces

Marking pens


Colored pencils


Other fun items you'd like to include (money, greeting cards… the list goes on)

Reclaiming Your Dream with Be Love Radio

Wow! What a wonderful conversation I had with Kidest on her Be Love radio show this week about Finding Our Purpose and Reclaiming Our Dreams. I have to say it was particularly potent for me, as I just returned from assisting at the Café Gratitude Leadership Training where I had the opportunity to lead a piece about creating a Vision for Leadership. Everyone there is so excited about what they're up to, and it was fulfilling to see that my offering was helpful to this amazing group of participants in reclaiming their dreams as Leaders. Even though Getting That You Matter isn't specifically about "leadership," I am seeing more and more how this work is playing an important part in helping people see themselves as leaders in their own lives, the lives of their families and communities, and for the world. It is deeply gratifying to see how the ripples we are all creating by stepping into our passions, reclaiming our biggest dreams and living our purpose is creating leaders out of so many of us.

When I wrote these words, "If you can see, receive and believe it, you can be it" came to me a few years ago, I had no idea I would be in the position I am in now – poised on the brink of bringing this message to the world and bringing my vision from over 30 years ago to life in a way I never could have imagined. It took me pulling it out, dusting it off and polishing it up to really begin to live into my life's purpose.

And that's what it takes for each of us. When you reach back into the deepest reaches of your heart and find what it is you are most called to be and do, you remember, as Kidest said, "You do have something powerful to offer! It's inside of you… it's part of your DNA." When you begin to see your purpose, open up to really receiving it and believing in it, you can be anything you are here to be!

Your purpose is custom-made for you, so there is no need to go down that dead-end road of comparison. Your purpose is as unique and alive as you are, all you have to do is maintain regular practices and take bold actions that keep it flourishing. "Whatever we're called to can change," Kidest said. "There's an element of knowing." This is so true… and it takes that practice of deeply listening to yourself to reclaim and stay connected to your purpose, no matter how simple or complex it may be. Remember, your purpose does not have to be about big, fancy words; the simpler it is, in fact, the easier it will be for you to remember, stay connected to and fulfill. An effective way to begin the process is to reflect on your dreams and ask yourself one or more of the following questions:

  • What does your heart say when you get very quiet?
  • What would most support you in giving this gift to yourself?
  • How do you see yourself bringing your purpose to life in the world?
  • How do you keep your purpose alive and flourishing on a regular basis? How do you be that brings joy to you and those around you?
  • What is the simplest, shortest, least complicated way you could communicate that to another person?
  • What are you passionate about?
  • What gives you the chills or takes your breath away when you think about it, even if it doesn't seem attainable right now?
  • What is the deep longing that occupies the background of your waking hours, the one that continues to revisit you even when you think you're satisfied?
  • How can you live from your passion on a daily basis?

I invite you to listen to this powerful conversation here!

Enjoy your Meditation, Mantra and Movement for Finding Your Purpose… Reclaiming Your Dream!

Meditation for Finding Your Purpose & Reclaiming Your Dream

“What is my purpose?” Journal on the above questions by giving yourself some real quality time for yourself with this process. Not only do I suggest you ask yourself the questions above, but that you write down your answers as well. It's often in writing that we find more insights, so I urge you to really go for it with the journaling. Write it all down.

Mantra for Finding Your Purpose & Reclaiming Your Dream

"My purpose is…" Start speaking your purpose out loud to yourself and others as much as possible… try it on, play with it, and remember- you get to keep it moving and alive. Let yourself play with it!

Movement for Finding Your Purpose & Reclaiming Your Dream

Clarify your purpose. As you begin to speak your purpose, you may find that you want to refine it. If so, take the time you need to hone it into a statement that you can say easily and effortlessly, that makes you remember why you created it, and gives you the chills just thinking about it. This is how you will begin to own your purpose!

Elements of Purpose... Part 2 with Be Love Radio

In our conversation about more elements of purpose on Be Love Radio, Kidest and I talked about self-care, humility and surrender, faith and inspiration, and gratitude. It was, as always, a fabulous half hour! We started out with self-care – one of the most foundational pieces of getting that you matter. One of the most colorful examples of self-care is the airplane analogy of putting on our oxygen mask first, then helping the person next to us. This may seem irrelevant, but it illustrates how very important it is to take care of ourselves so we can be available to take care of those around us. In that airplane, if we're passed out, we can't help the person next to us. Similarly, in life we can't be of greatest service to the world if we're burned out, exhausted or unhealthy.

As we discussed in our last show, we have to be willing to humble ourselves in order to receive the clarity we need. In the Zen tradition, they call it "Beginner's Mind." We must allow ourselves to get humble and relinquish being "general manager of the Universe," as Debbie Ford says. When we let go of our need to know, to be right and anything else that our ego attaches to, then we can humbly surrender to our purpose and see that we matter just like everyone else.

Inspiration literally means "to be in spirit;" when we in-spire, we literally breathe in spirit. When we are willing to surrender, even when it seems most scary and like there will be no one or nothing there to catch us when we leap off the cliff, we find Faith waiting to catch us out there in mid-air. Faith and inspiration keep us going when we think we can't go on by ourselves.

Gratitude is one of the key components of living a life of purpose. As a matter of fact, I'd venture to say it's the key. When we're living from gratitude, we can't help but feel passionate about our lives; conversely, when we're living from our passion, we can't help but feel grateful. If you choose an "attitude of gratitude," I guarantee you will experience miracles!

I invite you to listen to the archive of this week's conversation to learn more, and join us for the upcoming shows on Be Love Radio!

Meditation for Trusting Your Process- What are Your Elements of Purpose?

"What unique qualities do I need to develop?"

Take at least fifteen minutes a day for the next five days to journal about what elements you know you need to develop in order to begin to trust the process of fulfilling your purpose. Look at your current self-care practices and ask yourself what it would look like for you to take exquisite care of yourself. Perhaps your self-care is right where it needs to be, or your elements are the same as some of the ones in Chapter 5 and above; perhaps they're totally different. The beauty is, only you can know what will most support you in developing your purpose.

Then, write down some acknowledgments for all the ways in which you already possess these elements, and how you can develop them even more, easily and effortlessly. You might want to ask yourself, what you would need to let go of and embrace in order to develop them fully. Give yourself the gift of your own best attention for this work. Take as much time as you need; this is a foundational process.


Mantra for Trusting Your Process- What are Your Elements of Purpose?

"I am…"

Now you get to practice owning and living these elements as fully and powerfully as possible! I encourage you to say them out loud, to yourself, your family members, friends and anyone else as often and as joyfully and proudly as possible. You might say something like, "I'm an incredibly patient and humble person who takes care of myself" or  "I surrender to God's will for me and live every day from faith and inspiration every day!"

Whatever words you choose, I invite you to make it fun and playful! That will help your mind to accept these words of validation without going into self-doubt and stories about how you aren't all that. When you do find yourself doubting, say them even more often, write them down – anywhere, and remind yourself that the other voice is just afraid of losing control. Perhaps you can ask it what it needs so you can practice your self-care and continue being proud!


Movement for Trusting Your Process- What are Your Elements of Purpose?

Living your elements…

Go inside, even journal about it, and look to see what you can practice you can begin today, tomorrow or this week to help you begin to develop these elements and build your trust in your own process. Perhaps you can begin or extend a meditation practice to develop your patience, or you can start a gratitude journal. Whatever your practice, commit to doing it on a regular basis and get the support you need to maintain that practice. When you are exercising these muscles, you'll start to feel more confident and capable of living into a life of purpose.

Elements of Purpose... Part 1 with Be Love Radio

In our show on Chapter Five, Kidest and I talked about some of the elements that help us cultivate, get clear about, stay "on track" with and maintain our connection to our unique purpose more easily and effectively. The four elements (or qualities) that we discussed – patience, clarity, integrity and agreements – have been important to me in cultivating and maintaining my connection to my purpose, and we'll look at a few more in our next show when we talk about "trusting the process." Patience can be a very powerful tool in loving ourselves through the process of cultivating our purpose. For those of us who are "seekers," patience with ourselves, our processes and life itself is important to get us through those times when we're wanting to know so badly – right now – our purpose. Loving ourselves through the process is a lot easier when we are willing to live "in the mystery" of life. Tools like tools like meditation and breathing deeply can assist us in being patient with it.

Like the handmaiden of our divinity, Clarity is always ready to help. We just have to ask – and we often have to humble ourselves to receive it. Sometimes it seems so elusive – like it's always one step ahead of us. At other times it's right there, like a flash of lightning. Clarity is not always nice either; it can really wake us up sometimes. But when we're willing to get out of the way and listen, we will get our answers… they may not be what we thought we wanted, but they're always clear. You can hear more about my own personal journey with clarity on the Be Love show.

Integrity is all about being in alignment with our own values. Developing integrity requires that we examine our thoughts, words and actions closely to find the places where we are out of alignment and then do what it takes to return to alignment. When we live from this place, we have no excuse for playing or staying small – nor do we want to – even when it seems easier to do so. We're up to much bigger things now!

One of the best ways to stay in integrity is to make agreements that support us. We have to look at our motivation for the agreements we make, however, because many of us make unconscious agreements about how we're going to be in the world, often from a place of scarcity. The thing is, when we make agreements from that place, that's when we can get in trouble. This week, you'll have an opportunity to look at the agreements you've already made and the ones you'd like to make.

As we discussed on this show, when we get that we matter, we're attuned to fulfilling our purpose and when we're fulfilling our purpose, we can't help but get that we matter. I look forward to reading your comments and questions as you embark on your journey to finding your purpose! Listen to the archived show to hear the whole conversation.

Meditation for Finding Your Elements of Purpose
"What are my old agreements? What are my new agreements?"

Take some time to journal about what keeps you from remembering that you matter. Look at your old agreements - how they have served you in the past and how they no longer serve you now. What kind of agreements have you made? What is your motivation for making agreements? What's your deeper truth? As you begin to dismantle the ways they operate in your life, you can begin to unlock their old, hidden power over you and free yourself from their grip. Then begin to play with creating new, empowering agreements that work for you today.


Mantra for Finding Your Elements of Purpose

"I agree…."

Use your new, powerful agreements as your mantra(s). Say them to yourself whenever you can and use those notes and other reminders to help you (remember, you can put them on your bathroom mirror, on your steering wheel, or in your journal). Have fun!


Movement for Finding Your Elements of Purpose

Take consistent action in alignment with your new agreements… and celebrate!

As often as you remember, be sure to take actions in alignment with your new agreements. Whatever you choose to do, commit to being consistent about it. You'll find the rewards to this kind of discipline extremely rewarding once you set yourself up with a regular practice for building the muscle of keeping your agreements. And don't forget to celebrate yourself for taking action!

Making a Difference with Be Love Radio

Before I go any further, I apologize for not getting these last few conversations posted until now. April was quite a full month and I have no excuse other than getting overwhelmed with all I have said "yes" to and being present to disappointing more people than I have before. Woohoo! I'm living waaaay out of my comfort zone! Thank you to all of you who follow this blog - for your patience, love and encouragement. We are up to some great things here at Get That You Matter… and we very much look forward to sharing more as they develop. Having said that, I am having a fantastic time doing this Be Love radio series with Kidest; she is truly a most wonderfully heart-centered, wise and present person, and we have a lot of fun doing these interviews!

When we rolled out Chapter Four about Making A Difference, we both remarked on the fact that this is such a powerful and timely conversation. That deep desire in each of us to make our mark on the world, to know that we have come here for a reason, that we’ve stood for something is burning brightly at this time in human history. I believe we are born to serve… it's as if the need to serve is hard-wired into each and every one of us; it's just that our own minds can get in the way, in many different ways.

In this rich half hour, we talked about many facets of what it means to make a difference. In talking about knowing the difference between being of service and having our "15 minutes of fame" and how easy it is to confuse our higher calling with our need for attention and approval (oh, that slippery little ego!), it's so important that we remember that making a difference is an inside job. It's all about us… it's about us BEing the difference for ourselves and that will ripple out to everyone around us. We have to be willing to look at our motivations for making a difference, and realize that a big part of making a difference is about letting go of our need to be in control. We also talked about the trap of comparison, cultivating confidence and the dance of arrogance and finding our way back to the middle. All in all, it's about remembering that we are part of the whole and we're here to fulfill our purpose simply by accepting who we are here to be.

All in all, it was a delicious conversation and I invite you to listen to the podcast of the April 10th show by clicking this link to listen to the conversation for free!

I wish you fun and joy in playing with the Meditation, Mantra and Movement for Chapter four!

Meditation for Making a Difference…

“How and where do I matter? How and where do I make a difference?"

Journal about how you have impacted the world around you in favorable and unfavorable ways, consciously or not. Write about how you make a difference in your own life, the lives of others and for the planet as a whole, and how you can have even more of a powerful, favorable impact.

Mantra for Making a Difference…

"I matter because…"

After journaling about how you have impacted the world in useful and not so useful ways, create a mantra that you can say over and over again to yourself (and others if you wish!) that affirms how you matter. This is a chance to stretch, to try on new thoughts about yourself and speak them out loud.

Movement for Making a Difference…

Make a difference, having an impact!

Using the information and insight you received from your Meditation and Mantra, take some time to come up with an action that would make a difference in your life or in the life of another person, whether you know them or not. This is your opportunity to practice a "random act of kindness" and see how you feel afterward.

Becoming with Be Love Radio

It was such an honor to share the time with Kidest for her Be Love radio show once again. She is an amazing host and a powerful force of love on the planet. We had a great conversation about Becoming... and all it takes to do that. Taking risks and stepping out of our comfort zones (and looking at all the excuses we use not to do that), stretching (and all the reasons we make up for staying small), integrity, taking responsibility and great practices like Ho-oponopono. When we really begin to BECOME who we are here to be, as Kidest said, "It's as if the whole Uni-verse took a step with you!" Since I'm on Maui this week for the Cafe Gratitude Aloha Awakenings retreat, I'm gonna keep today's post short and sweet, but suffice to say, I highly recommend listening to the replay and trying on this week's Meditation, Mantra and Movement. Until the next show, I wish you a couple of weeks of becoming even more of who you are here to be!


Meditation for Becoming: "What will it take for me to become who I am meant to be?"

What keeps you from stepping up? What do you need in order to become the person you are meant to be? Journal about what it would take for you to become who you are meant to be.

Mantra for Becoming: "I am becoming…"

What can you tell yourself on a daily basis to remember who you are becoming? What can you tell yourself when you feel like hiding? What words can strengthen your resolve and help you to remember that you matter?

Movement for Becoming: Take a bold step toward your Becoming!

What action, if you took it in the next few days, would help you step out of your comfort zone into a bigger you? What would move you powerfully toward being even more of your best self?

P.S. If you are in the Los Angeles area the weekend of April 9th and 10th, please join me for two amazing events! Saturday April 9th is the Cafe Gratitude Intro. to A New View of Love workshop with Jon Marro and myself, and Sunday April 10th is the Leaders Causing Leaders Salon in Palos Verdes. I hope to see you there!

Paying Attention... Orienting to the Heart on Be Love Radio

I really enjoyed speaking with Kidest OM on today's Be Love radio show. It's always an honor and a pleasure spending that half hour with her. She is truly a gift to the world; her consciousness, compassion and clarity shine through in every word. We talked about paying attention and slowing down enough to be able to bear witness to our own internal dialogue... the conversation between the heart and the head. We talked about how we can actually develop a conscious internal environment or family, if you will, wherein our heart is like the "good parent" of our mind. When we do so, we become the good steward of our own humanity.

There is incredible value in paying attention. When we do, we begin to understand ourselves and the choices we make with more clarity and compassion. So often we walk through our lives as if we have no idea of our impact on others. Sometimes we do, but much of the time we react to the world around us, rather than respond to it. In other words, we end up doing with little or no consideration for how we are being.

When we pay attention - compassionate, careful attention - to our beliefs, thoughts, words, attitudes and actions, we begin to make that necessary internal change from reactivity to response-ability, from doing to being. It is a very humbling experience to pay attention, but it is so crucial. It is even more humbling to realize when we haven't been paying attention. Like starting an exercise program, cultivating awareness is a practice of discipline and diligence; it sometimes seems daunting at first, but the more we do it the easier it gets. The whole point of paying attention is to give ourselves the gift of going inside so we can tap into our unique aliveness and get how very much we matter.

One of the best ways to develop the quality of paying attention is to listen to ourselves, intently, through some sort of regular contemplative practice. Regardless of what you call it, this is one of the most profound ways we can cultivate the ability to truly feel that we matter and have something to contribute. It may seem counter-intuitive - “Wait a minute! If I want to contribute, I need to be doing something, don’t I?” Not necessarily. Not doing with awareness is far more powerful than doing without awareness.

The trick is to get below that surface level of thought activity in our heads and settle into the place where we do our deepest listening - our Hearts. When we "take the elevator" down into our hearts, we are able to connect with the place where our deepest wisdom resides, the place where we remember who we truly are.

There is a caveat here – sometimes we can fool ourselves into believing that our heart is telling us something when it really is our head doing the talking. There are some great tools I use to help me discern my "heart voice" from my "head voice." If you listen to the radio show, you'll hear me go through each of them; for sake of ease, I call them "Weighing the Options," "Lighting Up" and "Body Wisdom."  These tools are very useful for tuning into our intuition and making clear, conscious choices. Then we must trust the choices.

And there will be times - often, daily! - when our head takes over and we forget. Just like my friend Tricia Huffman talks about in her vlog, "I make sh-xx-t up," we make stuff up all the time because our minds need to feel important.

So if we just remember the mind likes to make stuff up about all kinds of things, then we can start to work in team with our heart and our minds and we're well on our way. It’s like the heart is the good, loving parent and the mind is this curious, playful, often petulant, mischievous, testing, sometimes rebellious, sometimes obedient, demanding child. It is a parent’s job to take care of their child, to guide it and to be the good steward of its wellbeing. In other words, we get to re-parent our minds, observing them from the loving, interested distance of the fair witness or parent.

We don't have to make our heads wrong or bad, we get to say, ‘Wow! Look what I learned from that situation.” Our choices are perfect because they take us to the next right place for our evolution, even if it may feel painful and not at all perfect at the time. That requires the willingness to take time to pay attention, the discipline to do it regularly, and a large helping of humility and humor. It’s not always easy to pay attention, but it is always rewarding. When we do, we find inspiration from those lessons and have the opportunity to see just how much we matter.

This week's Meditation, Mantra and Movement

Meditation- Paying Attention: What do I notice about myself? Journal about what you notice and what you pay attention to regarding your thoughts, words, beliefs, attitudes and actions. Do you usually listen to your mind or your heart? If you were going to live from your heart on a regular basis, what would you need to let go of? What would you need to claim or embrace?

Mantra- Paying Attention: What are your questions? What could you ask yourself to develop more self-awareness? Maybe it's "What do I need in this moment?" or "What will serve my highest and best in this situation?" In other words, what are your "hard questions"? Connecting with your heart, create one or more questions to help you pay attention.

Movement- Paying Attention: Give yourself the attention you most need! Is there something you need to do or create to develop more awareness? When you receive the answers to your "hard questions," notice what most needs attention and give that to yourself, even if it's uncomfortable. Watch what happens when you stretch and give yourself what you most need.

You Are Unrepeatable on Be Love Radio

Here are some highlights from our latest conversation with Kidest on Be Love. You can listen to the replay of the show here. You are Unique

This year, we will hit the seven billion mark for the number of human beings on the planet – that's an astonishing figure. Check out this very interesting video:

The thing is… there are all these people on the planet and there's only one you. You are unique. There is no one else on the planet like you.

But what happens when you don’t see this, when you don’t really grasp the full meaning of being unique? You minimize your gifts and talents, believe that you're not worthy or good enough, and believe the lie that you don’t make a difference. In other words, you begin to believe that you don’t matter.

When you think those thoughts and act from those beliefs and assumptions, you cheat yourself, everyone around you and the world from what you have to offer? The good news is… you can change your story and begin to believe that you matter and have something to offer that only you can offer. In other words, you can remember your uniqueness!


Kidest brought up the idea of insignificance – that widely-accepted notion that stems from self-rejection and the belief that we don't matter. The thing is, this notion is an incredible paradox. It's true that, on one level, we are insignificant… and, on another level, we're unique- there's no one like us- so therefore, we are incredibly significant!

So many times, though, I've taken insignificance to mean "I don't matter" when really it's a great way to keep things in perspective so my ego doesn't get the better of me. It allows me to come from a place of real humbleness. The truth is, we're part of it all and the beauty of being part of it all is that it holds both our microscopic smallness compared to the vastness of all that is and our vastness in all that is.

Amor's Story

Amor shared a great story about her realization that she wasn't honoring her own uniqueness or mine in trying to be like me on the "front stage" on the radio show. When she tried to be someone other than who she really is, she triggered her old story of not being capable. Then she felt stressed and lost connection with her authenticity as an incredible supporter and someone who creates foundations for people like me to shine. When we had an honest conversation, we got to come back to seeing and loving our unique offerings in our work together!

How It Starts

What happened with Amor and I happens all the time, everywhere. As Kidest said, we can fall into the vortex of not-enoughness. Then we start relating to each other from our wounds rather than our essence. When we start living from that place, it ripples out into the world and we can take that wounded relating to the global level.

It all goes back to when we were little children. Look at babies… aren't they amazing and perfect? But even though everyone is born perfect, as we grow up we get taught to believe that we're broken. We get bombarded with messages that we're not good enough and told that we need to be fixed.

The truth is, you are not broken – you never were. There is nothing wrong with you. You are whole and complete just as you are… and you don’t need to be fixed in order to matter. It's important to continue to remind yourself of this truth, especially when you feel alone and doubtful of your significance. One way to do that is to ask yourself questions like:

What takes you away from that original "in love-ness" with yourself?

What did you start to tell yourself about not being special or unique?

The Ripple Effect

Getting that you matter is about getting that you have an impact on the world whether you want to believe you do or not. Every thought, word and action has a ripple effect that touches the lives of those around us. When you forget that you matter, you forget that you have an impact.

You matter because you exist in the world – not separate from it. You don’t live isolated from others – you are not an island. Making a difference isn't only about getting that you're unique, it's also about getting that your actions affect those around you, whether they seem positive or negative, helpful or hurtful.

Being Yourself

What's so beautiful, too, is that when you get how unique you are, you come back to what's authentic for you. And when you do that, you get to reconnect with your purpose, just like Amor did! When you get that you are unique and that you matter, anything is possible!

Listen to this week's show here!

This Week's Meditation, Mantra and Movement

Meditation: "What's unique about me?"

What makes you who you are? What makes you different? Special? Unique?

Mantra: "I am unique because…"

What can you appreciate about yourself today? What could you tell yourself every day to appreciate your uniqueness?

Movement: Do something to express your uniqueness!

What could you do to express your uniqueness today or in the next few days? What would really give you the experience of loving yourself for the unique person you are?